Coaching Clients with Imposter Syndrome
Our experience with coaching clients navigating the fraudulent feelings of imposter syndrome and associated behaviors led us to research Imposter Syndrome and co-create a two-part workshop.
Imposter syndrome is not a healthy dose of skepticism or jitters but rather an unwarranted sense of insecurity. It's feeling like a fraud amidst real-deal colleagues. Clients with imposter syndrome fear "The Truth" about them and eventually unmask them.
Our clients struggled to reach their goals because of pervasive Imposter Syndrome feelings. Imposter Syndrome often negatively impacts high achievers, who feel they have not earned their accomplishments and expect to be "found out" or discovered for not being competent enough.
Approximately 70% of people experience imposter feelings at one time or another, no matter their race, age, gender, ethnicity, or position.
According to Valerie Young, author of "The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive Despite It," there are five Imposter Syndrome personas:
Expert
Perfectionist
Natural Genius
Soloist
Superhero
The Expert believes they must know anything and everything, and they think they will never know enough, which will result in being seen by others as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
The Perfectionist expects everything they do to be perfect, and they believe any error, no matter how small, reflects their incompetence.
The Natural Genius thinks they should know how to do something immediately without a learning curve.
The Soloist tends to work independently and fears asking for help, demonstrating they are phony.
Finally, the Superhero believes their worth depends on doing too much and doing it well. So they push themselves harder than everyone else.
Some clients have a go-to persona that pops up when their imposter syndrome feelings flare. However, we have seen clients assume multiple masks.
Imposter Syndrome is situational, and imposter feelings tend to emerge when:
clients work in organizations that feed self-doubt
there are unclear expectations and poor communication
the client is representing their entire social group, and in
Working independently, especially in creative fields
Clients in new situations may become so stuck that they won't even attempt to move, whether in the form of a career change, asking for a promotion, or going back to school. Clients may stay in their comfort zone to avoid those pesky fraudulent feelings.
But clients come to you for coaching to move them through their fears. You know that certainty is not a place for growth or development. Once clients identify their adopted Imposter Syndrom Personas, they begin to find ways to keep the masks off.
When coaching clients with imposter syndrome:
Create awareness between the situation and imposter syndrome feelings
Support clients through the process of navigating their imposter syndrome
Normalize Imposter Syndrome
Remind clients of their historical successes and accomplishments
Help clients create space once awareness is created
We often use these coaching questions for clients who appear ready to face their imposter syndrome feelings:
What will happen if you don't change this pattern?
What is the cost of not managing your imposter syndrome?
What opportunities would you miss?
What options or possibilities would be closed to you?
We walk our clients through these three steps:
Notice and reflect
An essential first step for clients is to notice when feelings of imposter syndrome come over them. Help clients notice their imposter feelings and identify what happens when overwhelmed by emotions or feelings of unworthiness or fraudulence. Awareness is a necessary and valuable part of the coaching process for clients with imposter syndrome. We created a reflection document for clients to use between coaching sessions that include questions such as: What happens when the feelings of imposter syndrome wash over you? What situation (place, people, activity) seems to trigger one or more of these feelings? How often did you notice these feelings of imposter syndrome? What persona or personas do you adopt? To take it a step further, clients can reflect on and notice imposter syndrome by completing these statements:
· Whenever I’m in a situation where __________________________
· I usually experience feelings of _____________________________
· The negative voices in my head start saying ___________________
· And what I typically do is __________________________________
The data clients bring back and share in their coaching sessions is fertile ground for creating awareness to make a behavioral change.
"Awareness is all about restoring your freedom to choose what you want instead of what your past imposes on you" – Deepak Chopra
2. Pause and respond
We have found that clients who take this pause to notice their imposter syndrome feelings also use pauses to respond rather than react to feelings of inadequacy. Taking hold of imposter syndrome feelings that have run wild requires clients to own their accomplishments, breathe through them, quiet the voices in their heads, or visualize themselves as successful. It often takes a combination of these behaviors and other behaviors and tools. We encourage clients to experiment with various instruments for situations where they experience imposter feelings. From there, encourage clients to set a micro-goal for how they want to respond in the future with the confidence, competence, and professionalism they desire. The key is for clients to choose a response rather than have a knee-jerk reaction when flooded with Imposter Syndrome Feelings.
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in our response lies our growth and freedom "– Viktor Frankl.
3. Reframe the narrative
The third important step is for clients to notice their self-talk when their imposter syndrome feelings show up. We encourage clients to notice the narrative and reflect on whether it is true. If it is untrue, ask your client how and if they can lessen the legitimacy of their story. We encourage clients to find out whether the narrative is helping them or holding them back. Lastly, we encourage clients to reframe the imposter syndrome narrative in their head by creating a new story about their imposter syndrome persona and which elements of the persona are worth hanging onto, and what to let go of that is no longer serving them. For example, a Perfectionist could maintain their high standards but learn to be proud when good is good enough, including determining the importance of projects or activities they engage in and the criteria needed for each.
"Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening" – Lisa M. Hayes
We recognize the limiting beliefs of imposter syndrome are paralyzing for some of our clients. However, these three steps for clients and coaching have benefited our clients.
We hope that our clients experience imposter syndrome again. Why? Because it means they are growing and putting themselves into new situations. These tools can help them move through the feelings more quickly and prevent them from feeling stuck.